Posts Tagged ‘Affairs’

Extra Marital Affairs

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

Extra Marital Affairs

Extra Marital Affairs

Marital Affairs can be extremely exhilarating,  exciting, with added  passion and romane. Depending on the circumstances they can also be hurtful for the other party and either helpful or damaging to a relationship. Many people dream about having an affair, the thought of that extra illicit attention. We want to feel desired.

We all do a little bit of window shopping, do we not all wish we could be stranded on a desert island with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie (not together, unless that’s what floats your boat).

What about men, they would often cheat on their partners if they thought they could get away with it. We all need a little bit more than we already have. It’s not always just about the sex though it’s a little bit more. How many of you would be trusting enough to leave your husbands in the playboy mansion overnight ? Would you let them visit Thailand or Amsterdam alone.

But what is an affair? Well, what it’s not a drunken mistake after the office party or a one-night stand either. Neither is it a romance between two people who are both free of other commitments.

An affair is a sexual relationship that lasts beyond one night where at least one of the participants is attached to someone else.  Secret meetings, clandestine visits, hotels etc.

The reality is not all affairs will end up in hurt, pain or anger.  Some affairs may have a happy ending. Many happy second marriages began as illicit affairs – but the vast majority of extra-marital liaisons don’t end in a new marriage or relationship.  So starting an affair is can be a brilliant step to take  and people do it all the time, but be aware of the potential pitfalls.

How can I tell if my partner is having an affair?

The one thing to look for is changes in their behaviour patterns. Everyone having an affair changes in some way or another . A man might bath or shower more often. He may join the gym to get into better shape . He may start taking more of an interest in fashion or get himself a fashionable haircut. He may become more romantic and attentive within the relationship, or indeed he may become quite callous or indifferent towards you, and he will almost certainly start ‘working late’ or having the odd night out with the lads from football or the gym.

On their own do not prove your partner is having an affair, but they can be common indicators.

Women also change if they are having an affair. They lose weight, again they buy more modern clothes and get new hairstyles. They start ‘going for a drink after work’ and have more nights out, supposedly with girlfriends. They may take up an evening class.They will frequently buy their partner little loving gifts because they are feeling guilty, and sometimes they become extra keen on sex and become more randy and hot in bed than they have for years.

Again, these things in themselves don’t mean for certain that they’re being unfaithful, but they certainly show that something different is going on and can alert the spouse to a possible affair.

Finally, do remember that affairs tell us something is wrong with the original married or live-in relationship. So, if you discover that your partner is being unfaithful,  you’ll have a better chance of saving your relationship if you’re prepared to accept that at least some of the reasons for your partner’s infidelity may be attributable to you.

It’s quite common for couples to caught up in affairs which they did not intentionally set outt to. You can innocently be friendly with someon of the opposite sex and before you know it one thing leads to another and everything gets out of hand,  before you know it you are caught up in an affair and don’t know how to get out of it.

Reasons Why People Have Marital Affairs

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

Reasons Why People Have Marital Affairs

Some people see marital affairs as something to do when you’re bored, or simply an instrument to ensure certain amount of sexual variety in ones’ life. Fortunately many people don’t see it that way, as a matter of fact, majority of married people see it as a despicable, and unforgivable sinful act. With strong opinions on both sides you’d think that there is no gray-areas, that it’s simply a matter of black and white – but you’d be surprised to know that the question of why marital affair happened in the first place is debatable; and with good merits on both sides.

Marriage is a sacred institution of trust known world over as a union of two people in love who contracted either spiritually or civilly to speak for the other or to be spoken for by the other – figuratively. Whatever form a marriage is based on, be it spiritual or religious, civil or contractual; there is one thing it cannot escape and that is the ever reaching long-arm of marital affairs.

Why Do People Have Marital Affairs?

It has no boundaries, it does not matter how long the marriage has lasted, whether the marriage is strong or weak. It just doesn’t matter who, what and when – it happens to the best of marriages unfortunately, and here are some reasons why:

1. Absence of Intimacy: Lack of intimacy in marriage can be a contributing factor to marital affair. When one partner is not getting his/her sexual needs met it could lead to all sorts of instability in the marriage depending on the root cause of the problem. If lack of sexual attention is due to sickness or temporary physical problems then the offending partner who cheated is not always forgiven –because not only did he/she cheated but lacked sensitivity towards the ailing partner. On the other hand, when affair occurred because one partner is withholding intimacy from the other, it becomes very difficult to assess blames. This type of affair is when the offending partner most of the time feels no guilt, and may even claim to be in the right.

2. Blinded By Looks Or Love: People with compromised willpower will often “fall in lost” with somebody other than their spouse. Affair based on lust is usually the most regrettable ones. Attraction can be dangerous thing, instant gratification can even be worse – and that is why combination of attraction, lack of willpower and instant gratification can lead to marital affair.

3. Lack Of Spousal Attention: When people feel neglected , or unappreciated they may try to do something to get attention, often the result leads to having an affair either to be fulfilled or to get their spouse’s attention.

4. Sexual Conquest: Some people are just born wild, they are adventurous, and being with somebody else other than their spouse is the only thing that can make them feel complete. This type of individuals cheat not because they feel attracted or have feeling for the person with whom they are cheating with – but simply to add to their sexual adventure trophies.

5. Looking To End The Marriage: People often cheat in their marriage just to find a way to end the marriage. A partner who has grown tired of the marriage and wanted out but could not find a way to talk the spouse about divorce could use an affair as a weapon to provoke the other spouse to ask for divorce.

Marital affairs happen more  often than we want to admit, and from both men and women. There is no good or bad marital affair – it is a matter of “whose ox is being gored“; if you’re the cheater you may feel justified for your actions, and for the cheated there is never enough justification. People cheat for many reasons, and whatever your reason may be remember that there is somebody on the receiving end with a broken heart.