Posts Tagged ‘Steps’

How to Improve Your Marriage after a Marital Affair ?

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

How to Improve Your Marriage after a Marital Affair ? One of the Most Important Steps

If you want to improve your marriage after a marital affair, concerted effort in the area of communication is necessary.  And while several aspects of the communication principle need to be addressed in this process, one of the most important is in the area of transparency.

Transparency for the sake of this purpose is the idea that nothing is hidden or kept from each other.  Even if previously, there were barriers in conveying details of each other’s lives.  If a marital affair has occurred, those barriers must be removed and all areas opened up and kept transparent.

In your attempt to improve your marriage by being lucent with one another, here are some thoughts to keep in mind operating under your new “transparency” rule.

Decide on what topics and how detailed the communication should be – while being very open and honest about all things big and small is vital to improving your marriage after a marital affair has happened, there are some things that you both can agree on that don’t need to be shared unless it’s simply for the sake of conversation.  For example, letting your spouse know that you stopped for a cup of coffee on the way to work is important.  However, the fact that you got a small, medium, or large cup may not be…nor may be the information about adding cream or sugar or drinking it black.
Each party must commit to sticking with the transparency rule – concerted effort must be made by both spouses in order to ensure the improvement of a marriage after a marital affair has taken place.  And despite the desire to withhold information or details from your spouse out of our human need for independence, avoid getting frustrated with him/her when questions arise based on the input given in your attempts to be open with one another.  This holds especially true when it applies to the spouse who had the affair.  It’s important to understand that the questioning is all part of the healing process.
Recognize and appreciate the effort being given by each other – when a marital affair occurs, it’s critical that both of you understand the great deal of damage that is caused.  In many cases the mere thought of it occurring can bring the unsuspecting spouse to their knees.  The fact that it actually happened has an impact that’s 1,000 times worse than that.  If you’ve both committed to trying to save and improve your marriage after infidelity, then patience, understanding, and appreciation for the effort you both are making is vital.

A marital affair can be disastrous to a marriage.  However, the possibility exists where you can improve your marriage and save it if you apply the transparency rule following the steps provided above.